Monday, November 01, 2004

10 things you have to believe to vote for Bush

Ghod I hate this stupid Blogger interface. I hit the "preview" link, to preview what I write. Then I hit the "back" button to continue editing, because in 99.9999% of cases on the World Wide Web, you get to where you were before by hitting the fucking "back" button, and Blogger wipes out everything I just wrote. Damnit!

Okay, I will try this again:

I've seen most (if not all) of the following on various internet forums before, but now, the day before the Big Election, is an excellent time to review.
10 things you have to believe to vote for Bush:

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.

A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
Hmmm! That seems to be a bit more than 10 things....perhaps, the person who compiled the list had difficulty choosing the ten best examples of Republican hypocrisy, given how many there are to choose from. :-)


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